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Dear Editors/Publishers/TV Land

Dear All Who Pay for Writing to be Written,

I am, perhaps contrary to appearances, a writer. It’s what I do to scrape my meagre living, it’s how I keep the wolf from the door and how I get my somewhat frayed ends to meet.

Right now you’re probably sat in one of two camps:

Camp A) You quite like my writing, you enjoy reading it, you’d like to think that at some point there’d be an opportunity to pay me to write something for you.


Camp B) You’re wondering how the hell I’ve got to the point where I can call myself a writer without using air quotes. You think that my stuff’s dull, unnecessarily negative and over long. You might be tempted to pay me not to write.

If you’re in Camp B then, firstly, that’s a bit mean and secondly you’d be surprised at how reasonable my ‘stopping writing’ rates are.

If you’re in Camp A then please get in touch via the form below. I can write about more than just TV shows that I hate. I hate lots of things. I like a few things too. Not many though…



Excellent stuff. Chin chin, chocks away and so forth.



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